remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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