No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
