8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
