this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
