My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
someone owes me an orgasm
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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