Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
All I want is dick and wine.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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