she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
