I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
