Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
is it fun? or sober?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
