that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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