Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I have aggressive nipples.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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