Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
