I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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