Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
