The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize