Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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