physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
