sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
