Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
false alarm, still single
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