I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Dick very happy bro
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize