and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
