Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
