were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
whose parrot is this?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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