1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
