Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
