I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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