she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
