You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
