Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
