do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
