worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
