Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
