Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
