Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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