but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
