last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
