its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We need to rekindle our bromance
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
