let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
