This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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