You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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