Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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