He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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