just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He kissed a someone with a penis
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
