just survived the first fart of the relationship.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
