sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
