If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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