He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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