So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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