even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
