Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
