I don't usually arrange sex via text message
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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