Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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