If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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