Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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