SEEEEXXX PLEASE
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
