My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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