No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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