I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize